| LE GOURMET IS GOING DOWN |
[Jan. 2nd, 2005|07:34 pm] |
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I'm definately not the "I'm going to sue you" type, but I'm thinking about it. I just found out the reason they didn't ask me to stay on after the holidays at work is because someone found out I am Dyslexic and Dysgraphic, so naturally it's my fault the registers are off sometimes. What the shit is that? Disaility discrimination is what that is. Bastards. |
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| I heart Retail |
[Dec. 19th, 2004|12:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Calexico | ] |
So I work at the biggest outlet mall in the world. And because of all the foriengers and stuff, we have to be really strick about checking ID's when people use credit cards. I personally like it when someone checks my shit out; I wouldn't want anyone out there to be able to use my credit cards. ANd every now and then, someone will actually say "Thank you" for checking. But sometimes people get pissy when I ask them to see their ID.
"Well, I don't have it, so you just lost my sale!"
"What, you don't trust me?"
"Geez, it's me, alright?!"
or, my favorite
"Do you check evreyone's ID or just us Mexicans?"
"Yes, sir. I'm only checking out people with the last names Alvarez, Alvorado, Cardenas, Cassa, Castillo, Gomez, Gonzalez, Hernadez, Herra, Jimenez, Mercado, Ochoa, Rodriguez, Rosas, Sadavol, Sanchez, Trevinio, Villarreal, ect. I'm on to you people, and your evil plot to make everyone fat by cooking your addictive food in lard, and it stops right here at this Le Gourmet Chef counter."
Back to stop the evil plots of Le Gourmet Chef. |
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| Ding Dong, The Roomies are gone! |
[Dec. 17th, 2004|01:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  jubilant | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Aphex Twin - Alberto Balsam | ] |
YES! SOLITUDE!!! No more arguing about crappy music, and no more arguing about why "Raising Hellen" isn't cute AT ALL. I have the whole place to myself for a whole month. I couldn't be happier. |
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| The Talentled Miss Loo |
[Dec. 1st, 2004|02:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
So for some reason I passed out in the shower this morning. I think maybe it was because the water was too hot; but it was freezing in my room. And I like really hot showers. Maybe it was because I am a little dehydrated. For whatever the reason, I passed out in the shower, and now there in a goose egg on the back of my head. AWESOME. |
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| CARE GODDAMIT! |
[Nov. 30th, 2004|11:19 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Aaron Copeland | ] |
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go through life, only concerned with things that affect you day to day. To go through and just completely not think about things at all. Maybe it would be easy, only focusing on yourself and those that are directly involved with your life. It would be simple, not caring about those in need, not caring about the children you may one day have, not caring about those that will have to live in the world you left for them. Maybe it would be easier, only caring about things like clothes, money, who's your friend, who's your foe, who you want to fuck, who wants to fuck you. Maybe some people don't even care about those things. Maybe some people care about nothing. It bothers me how little people seem to care sometimes. It's not like a preson here or there; it's an epidemic. My generation just doesn't care. What's this from? Lazy parents? People unwilling to give up the things they want? Guilt about not doing anything? Utter apathy? What is it?
I care. But my problem is I do alot of thinking and caring, and very little action. I do what I can, I suppose, from day to day. I know I can't save the world, and maybe that discourages me. Also, action needs things like time and money. At the momment, I don't have the time, and I definately don't have the money. But that's a shitty excuse. I'm not starving to death, I do alot of sitting around. There's always something you can do.
I suppose working with the Fresh Air Fund this summer was action. Jumping feet first into a situation where I had no idea what to expect to get paid very little and go live with the ghetto-est of the ghetto kids. Trying to look past their harden attitudes and their tough hearts and just let them have a fun couple of weeks out in the woods. I suppose I don't feel like it was some great thing I did because I had such a good time their and made such good friends. But that's silly. Charity has to be something unpleasant? Of course not. Myabe because I got paid (even if it was small?)
So this is my early New Years resolution. More caring, and lots more action. Thinking is always good. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2004|11:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Album Leaf | ] |
Work SUCKED HARD CORE tonight. I washed dishes for an hour and a half. And I had to listen to Christmas music, and for some reason, the thought of Christmas is terribly depressing right now. I think because as I get older, I realize holidays are all pretty much bullshit; they're just old paegan rituals the priests turned into Christian holidays in hopes of converting the Paegans to Christians. But even so, they still used to mean something to me. Now, they are just ploys for people to pump more money into the economy. For some reason, that makes me feel really alone. I read once there are more suicides this time of year more than any other. I think I'm begining to understand why.
Christmas, my birthday, and Spring always depress me. Spring especially. I get realy down every march. Everything is growing, everything's budding and turning green, everything is new again, new and beautiful. And I'm still me, I'm not growing or becoming new or beautiful. I'm still just me. I already discused Christmas; I'm really not sure why my birthday depresses me. I mean, I guess it's ovious why my 21st was depressing; I just wanted to be home, I just wanted Johnny back, but more than anything, I wanted to be hammered.
People depress me too. I'm starting to think I expect too much of those I love, and that's why I get so devastated when they let me down. And people I dont' know depress me. Sometimes my heart swells up in pain for someone I see across the room. The elderly always make me sad; sometimes an annoying 45 minute conversation with someone about tea kettles is a signal this person is going through some serious isolation. It makes me wonder; where is this person's children? Why aren't they looking in on this person, making sure they aren't completely cut off from everyone they love? I wouldn't ever let my mom and dad just waste away all alone in their last years, no matter what might have happened between us.
Johnny's coming over, so I need to buck up and act like everything is great. Not for any reason other than I don't get to see him very often, so I like our time together to be happy and easy going. So enought of this depressing entry. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2004|02:10 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | The New Pornagraphers | ] |
So this is my big revelation. Art is bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. You success as an artist has little to do with how talented you really are, or even how inovative you really are. It's all about who you know, what art critic you know, who says your shit is good, who says your shit is bad. Do I really want to enter this world? I'm no good at kissing ass. I'm no good at prostituting myself out. I will never make it as a painter, not because i'm not good enough, but because I am modest and shy.
So Illustration. I really don't think it is the worst path for me. I can illustrate childrens books, which is what I wanted to originally anyways. It is the dark side, yes. But what isn't dark in this world? Ice cream, I guess. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 17th, 2004|01:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Kings of Convenience | ] |
So Bekah's birthday is coming up, and I am left with a question. What the fuck do I get her? She really likes stuff like Allison Kraus and Mindy Smith, so maybe some bluegrass-ish girly C.D. Maybe a D.V.D. of one of the many shitty Movies she likes. Maybe some hot sex.
I wish she could be here for her birthday, but it's Thanksgiving, so she must go home. 21 is a pretty big birthday, and a big one to spend with family that thinks Alcohol is the Devil. Perhaps it is the Devil. My 21st was pretty dry this summer, but that is because I was living with underpriveledged kids in the woods, or something.
So yes. School. Class. Must go. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2004|01:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rodney Crowell - Earthbound | ] |
So I'm changing ym major. I'm going over to the darkside. It's not that I want to sell out. It's not that money means everything to me. But I have a future to think about I have unborn kids I need to think about. I'm going to be an illustrator instead of a painter. This makes me sad, but I know it's the right choice for me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2004|08:02 pm] |
I HATE FUCKING GIRLS.
This is why I never had friends that were girls in high school. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 24th, 2004|11:34 am] |
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Whoa. So. It's been like a crazy long time since I've posted. Life has been nutty. |
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| Can't sleep...clown will eat me...random insomnia entry |
[Jan. 27th, 2004|02:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tool (i'm in a really weird mood.) | ] |
Sometimes I hate it here. I mean, sometimes I really really really hate it here. But I wonder if I would ever find a place that I wouldn't hate. I know this school in infamous for bimbos, but you're also supposed to have a good time here. I'M NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME. And it's not like I'm not trying. At parties, the only people I can even have an intelligent conversation with are guys who are just trying to get into my pants. And it's like I know this the whole time we are talking about easter philosophy or social injustices, but I pretend that I've found a unique person here who likes to learn and explore. But it's never for real, and I know this. It's just really depressing. Even the girls, whom I love dearly, are so shallow sometimes. They have to put on make-up to go to target. And they constantly talk shit about everyone. Why do I feel so alone here? Surely there is someone else here who feels this alienated.
But the thing is, no matter where I go, it's this way. I could be anywhere, and I would be singled out. Maybe I'm just a loner and I need to learn to deal with that.
Johnny's the opposite. His life is full of people, full of good times, and all he wants most of the time is to be left alone. He says sometimes he thinks I'm the only person he can stand at that particular momment. He doesn't want to see anyone else. Everything feels okay when I'm with him, like it's going to wrok out, and if it doesn't, it didn't really matter anyway.
I don't think I'm going to make my 8 o'clock tomorrow. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2004|01:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Flaming Lips | ] |
Hung with Randi today. It made me happy. We ate lots of food and watched lots of movies. That is all. |
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| The other day, I saw a bear |
[Jan. 23rd, 2004|04:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giddy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Morphine - Early to Bed, Early to Rise | ] |
Yum yum pumpernickle, pumpernickle bread. HEY!
My bed smells like sweaty mexican. And I like it.
Missy invited me to shroom with them. I'm thinking...no. |
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| BLOODY BOOBIES |
[Jan. 23rd, 2004|01:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hot | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Some Jamacian dude singing about how he needs a rock. | ] |
Man. It's weird. I watched MTV for like 3 hours tonight, which I strange in itself. But I watched it with Bekah, Jenna, Sarah, and Missy. Yeah...Missy. She's even slept here for the past few nights. I mean, it's cool. I'm glad to have her around. It probably won't last.
We watch women getting breast implants. That's some fucked up shit. Is it that important? I mean, really. It's not that big of a deal. Why are we so fucking wrapped up in how we look? It's not even about how we look, it's about how sexually attrative we are to guys. I can't start talking about it because I will never stop. I guess I should just be thankfull for the boobies the breast god bestowed on me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 20th, 2004|02:29 am] |
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Back in the dorm. It's good to be back. |
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| Run of Fun for little loo loo |
[Jan. 13th, 2004|09:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rilo Kiley | ] |
I just got back from Lulling. My dad was on his was to H-town and realized he left his wallet behind, and didn't have enough gas to come back. So me being the great daughter I am went and brought it to him.
I have the worst headache ever. And my tummy hurts. And my boyfriend won't call me back. :-( |
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| *yawns* |
[Jan. 12th, 2004|10:17 pm] |
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I really want to get high right now for some reason. I want to get baked and listen to me new cd's. |
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| *sighs* |
[Jan. 11th, 2004|02:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Asleep at the Wheel | ] |
Why does my mother insist on telling me how fat she thinks I'm getting? Doesn't she realize I don't really care all that much? And does she think she is helping me by telling me these things? I'm working on it, aren't I? Then again, she's been telling me I'm on the chunky side since highschool. I think it's because I have boobs. Whatever. |
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| she must be somebody's baby |
[Jan. 11th, 2004|01:53 am] |
cause all the boys on the corner just let her walk on by.
do I really turn guys gay? why do I do this? |
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